A Cup of Cold Water

I thought I knew what compassion was...I thought that I was a sensitive person, I mean after all I was a Christian; I was a pastor’s wife. I have worn a beaten path on the road of sorrow as I have dealt with issues from my own past...surly this made me a caring person. I have to admit, I have found a new level of compassion over the past several years.

Since Krista's incarceration I have met many young women...young women who have made choices that affect not only them but their families as well. Before Krista's situation I never really gave much thought to women in prisons. I figured that they did the crime then they can do the time. I do think there are consequences to actions but I also know that when I was in the pit of my own sin that Jesus did not pass me by. He did not look down on me and tell me that I deserved to go to hell. He looked in love upon me and reached down His hand and lifted me right out of my sinfulness. He gave me that 2nd chance in life.

I want the love of God to shape my life. I want it to seep out of every pore in my body. As I sit in the visiting room and wait for my sweet daughter to walk through that metal door I watch the other inmates. The room is never full, and often it is the same people I saw on my last visit. It fills me with sadness as I realize that out of 800 women behind those walls this handful of people are all who are there to offer support.

One of the women that I see every time is a girl named Renée. Krista buys picture tickets at commissary and Renée comes in to take the pictures. She sits at a table alone as she waits to take the inmate and their families pictures. How many pictures has she taken...pictures of people who cared enough to make the journey to see their daughter, their mother, their grandmother, yet I have never seen anyone visit her. She has been in the prison for years. I don't know her crime, but I know that she needs to know that she has value. The first visit she clicked our pics and I just thanked her. The second visit, I looked at the camera she uses. The next visit, I gave her tips on photography. Now, I know her by name and she shows the poses on the back of the digital camera and asks me what I think. I thank her by name, I chat and I try to let God's love spill over on her as I touch her shoulder, as I bless her. Soon, she will be released after almost 20 years behind bars. My prayer is that as she goes out of those gates she will remember that someone thought she had enough value to spend some time with her, to encourage her, to not be repulsed by the fact she is a felon, to let her know she had value.

There are as many stories as there are faces in that prison. I often think about the walls and what they would say if they could talk. Would they talk about the crimes of their prisoners or would they talk of the cries that are sobbed into a pillow in the middle of the night? In the darkness when the lights are out, the walls are the audience of the quiet prayers, the clutching of the pillows pretending it is their child, and the pleas for retaining their sanity in a place that does not know peace.

When we think of these women do you see scenes of CSI or Law and Order or do you see as the walls do...daughters of crack addicted mothers, fathers who are dead or in prison, women who made bad choices that snowballed, women who became drug mules to pay the rent...choices that landed them in a prison not only physical but emotionally too. Many of these women have no support. They can't understand how Krista ended up there when she was so loved. As she calls on the phone I hear voices in the background..."Love you, Mom" She tells me who each voice is and I tell her to tell them that I love them. For some it is the only love they have...love from me, hopefully from a life shaped by God.

My challenge to you in writing this is to say this: Let God's love shape your life. Ask Him to let you be an instrument in someone else’s life. It doesn't have to be a big production. It is a simple offering of love to someone who so desperately needs it. Look around you; you may be surprised by what you see.

Just a cup of cold water in His name...