I remember reading once about a child being scared during a thunderstorm running into his parents room and jumping into bed with them. The father reminded the child that he was never alone but that God was with him...the little boy snuggled closer to his father and said "Yes, I know God is with me but sometimes I need someone with skin on!" That is what true friendship is...God's love coming from someone with skin on!
In life, we are blessed by so many forms of friendships but that deep friendship that runs true through thick or thin is rare to find...but once you experience it is something you never want to let go of...
Krista has found this so true...she has some of those gems in her life.
Kelly was and is Krista's best friend. They met when they were 8 years old. That was 14 years ago...14 years of memories, 14 years of creating a bond that even prison could not break!
I remember when we travelled as families to Frank's parents farm, the girls quickly latched onto the old farm truck...with Kelly's little sister, Sharla sitting between them they would take turns driving around the perimeter of the farm...for hours! They were two peas in a pod. Both had senses of humor that would bring you to tears, they were sweet, they were caring and they created a bond that went beyond the talk show videos they made, the sleep overs, the trips, the shopping, going to school together... they created a bond that in the worse scenarios of life it would hold.... the love they have was there for all those great memories but it was even greater through the pain.
As we werein the midst of loading a U Haul truck with the help of our friends, as we were moving down to the States to be closer to Krista, we stopped for a moment as Laurie, Kelly's mom, had brought a video out. A video of the girls doing a remake of a song off of Grease. Krista was Danny, Sharla was Sandy and Kelly was the camera man. We sat and watched laughing and crying at the same time. It was a moment I will never forget.
Kelly has been a faithful friend. She has written Krista a lot of letters that would classify as mini novels. She has sent money so Krista could call her. Just recently Sharla and Kelly made a real sacrifice, they flew down here to see Krista. We drove the 9 hours to the prison and made it in time for visiting. We went through the process of getting into the visitation room and waited for that big metal door to open. Finally, she walked through. Her eyes scanned the room for us and then she saw the girls. She began to run and they ran...tears flowing from every eye as Krista grabbed Kelly weeping and hanging on for dear life. She next hugged Sharla, she pulled back and looked at Sharla who had gone from being a 15 year old girl to being a beautiful young woman of 18 years of age. Now, she was in my arms, the tears continuing to flow...the emotional flood gates of waiting for this visit, for seeing these girls after 3 years of separation had hit the heart.
It was a wonderful weekend. Lots of laughs, memories and just plain old catching up. Krista talked to each of us alone...wanting the best for each of us. Wanting to share her heart privately to each in her unique way.
Our goodbyes were hard. Tears at leaving her behind, her tears of being left behind. I found it difficult to go. A lot of water has passed under the bridge of life since those girls made their home made videos. The last video made was sent to the Judge who sentenced Krista. Kelly poured her heart out. As Krista sat in that court room and watched that video for the first time, seeing her friend talk about who Krista is and how she deserved a second chance...well, Krista just sat there and wept...this was true friendship at its peak, this was Jonathan and David friendship...this is a friendship that walls of barbed wire, guards, keys, and guard towers can not destroy... it is sisterhood!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Behind the Wall
Before being sent to W.V , Krista was in a holding facility from Dec 2005 until August of 2006. It was built just like a prison but smaller. Instead of being run by the state or by the feds it was run by a private company for the Marshals. She was allowed outside in a small courtyard for 1 hour of the day if the weather was decent. The facility was surrounded by fences and barb wire. Inside, the place was packed wall to wall with women. If you were new, you either slept on the floor of a multipurpose room or if you were lucky enough to be placed in a cell you had to sleep on a thin mat on the floor until a cell mate was moved out to another prison. It was a place of drama, fighting and emotional pain. So many women crowded with no place to go to be by themselves was a situation made for constant panic and chaos. Women were always being placed in the hole...there you were locked away by yourself and you would think it would create a place of peace for the moment but instead it created fear and panic.
Krista found that friendship in prison was based on 2 groups...those who made bad choices and wanted a new life and those who can't wait to go back to the life that landed them in there. She meet different people who filled her life with moments of joy in the midst of such emotional pain.
One lady was named Jym...a lovely older lady who was in on a probation violation. Jym had spent alot of her years making bad choices, she had a daughter that she really didn't know how to relate with. Jym would read my letters to Krista to know how to write her own daughter. Krista asked for us to buy Jym a Bible...we have bought many Bibles for the women in Krista's life.
Thanksgiving Day, Krista and her friends heard yelling in Jym's cell. A woman was in there beating her. The guards were no where to be seen, they were watching a football game. Krista got herself and her friends to bust a door open that was jammed. They were pulling the woman off of Jym when the guards came in. Krista and her friends were put in the hole for interfering. I was so proud of her! A guard brought her a phone and allowed her to call us so we would know what had happened. Most of the guards liked Krista, so that did help her.
Krista was calling home often for help for other women. Krista was the youngest in there and the only one who did not have a child. Yet she was the nurturer. She would buy extra rice and noodles, soap, shampoo etc to share with new inmates who did not have anything. The food was awful in the facility. The women would take the food and add items they would buy from the commissary to create something edible. Those who had some money shared with those who didn't. Krista was drawing pictures and coloring them for Mothers to use as stationary to write their children on. We would buy cards and send in coloring book pictures for her to use as guides.
She worried about the kids whose moms were in there. Some of them had not talked to their children in months. Krista began to tell us the stories of these women's lives and we could hear the voices behind the walls. Stories of women raising their kids on their own who had never done drugs but they were going to be evicted from their homes or apartments and so made the bad choice of becoming a drug mule. Carrying drugs across the country. One girl got caught on her first ever trip. She had been in about 6 months and Krista wanted her to be able to talk to her children. We sent her money to buy a phone card. In the midst of Krista telling us and wishing for more phone cards an idea began to form. I had already been speaking in churches before Krista's arrest but had stopped because of our emotional pain. But the time had come to get out of the ashes and get to not only living but to bring a little joy behind those old walls. I went to a church and shared Krista's story. They took an offering and over $3000.00 was raised. We bought phone cards and Bibles...it was amazing! Our local church raised money and other churches and even a few youth groups! We have helped a lot of girls because of Krista's story.
It isn't easy to have your life mistakes talked about publicly but Krista wants others to see how quickly situations and choices can snowball.
Behind those walls is someones daughter, someones mother, someones sister...many are forgotten but their voices echo as they cry out for help, for love...for hope. We have what they need, if we listen.
Krista found that friendship in prison was based on 2 groups...those who made bad choices and wanted a new life and those who can't wait to go back to the life that landed them in there. She meet different people who filled her life with moments of joy in the midst of such emotional pain.
One lady was named Jym...a lovely older lady who was in on a probation violation. Jym had spent alot of her years making bad choices, she had a daughter that she really didn't know how to relate with. Jym would read my letters to Krista to know how to write her own daughter. Krista asked for us to buy Jym a Bible...we have bought many Bibles for the women in Krista's life.
Thanksgiving Day, Krista and her friends heard yelling in Jym's cell. A woman was in there beating her. The guards were no where to be seen, they were watching a football game. Krista got herself and her friends to bust a door open that was jammed. They were pulling the woman off of Jym when the guards came in. Krista and her friends were put in the hole for interfering. I was so proud of her! A guard brought her a phone and allowed her to call us so we would know what had happened. Most of the guards liked Krista, so that did help her.
Krista was calling home often for help for other women. Krista was the youngest in there and the only one who did not have a child. Yet she was the nurturer. She would buy extra rice and noodles, soap, shampoo etc to share with new inmates who did not have anything. The food was awful in the facility. The women would take the food and add items they would buy from the commissary to create something edible. Those who had some money shared with those who didn't. Krista was drawing pictures and coloring them for Mothers to use as stationary to write their children on. We would buy cards and send in coloring book pictures for her to use as guides.
She worried about the kids whose moms were in there. Some of them had not talked to their children in months. Krista began to tell us the stories of these women's lives and we could hear the voices behind the walls. Stories of women raising their kids on their own who had never done drugs but they were going to be evicted from their homes or apartments and so made the bad choice of becoming a drug mule. Carrying drugs across the country. One girl got caught on her first ever trip. She had been in about 6 months and Krista wanted her to be able to talk to her children. We sent her money to buy a phone card. In the midst of Krista telling us and wishing for more phone cards an idea began to form. I had already been speaking in churches before Krista's arrest but had stopped because of our emotional pain. But the time had come to get out of the ashes and get to not only living but to bring a little joy behind those old walls. I went to a church and shared Krista's story. They took an offering and over $3000.00 was raised. We bought phone cards and Bibles...it was amazing! Our local church raised money and other churches and even a few youth groups! We have helped a lot of girls because of Krista's story.
It isn't easy to have your life mistakes talked about publicly but Krista wants others to see how quickly situations and choices can snowball.
Behind those walls is someones daughter, someones mother, someones sister...many are forgotten but their voices echo as they cry out for help, for love...for hope. We have what they need, if we listen.
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